Stuck in Gloom
by Twisted Vixen
Summary: Sometimes even the most hyperactive unpredictable ninja gets depressed. Naruto reminisces and compares himself to his best friend. One shot angsty songfic. rated T mostly for the language just in case


A/N: The one-shot bug strikes again! I was in the car in traffic listening to Radiohead when inspiration struck. Inspiration comes in the weirdest places XD.

**Summary:** Sometimes even the most Hyperactive unpredictable ninja gets depressed. Naruto reminisces and compares himself to his best friend. One shot angsty songfic. Don't expect a happy ending. Song – Creep by Radiohead.

_Naruto's thoughts_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Radiohead, but their music is awesome!

**Stuck in Gloom**

The sun was setting as Naruto sat on the fourth's head with his headphones on. His unruly strands of blonde twisted in random directions with the breeze. Yet he didn't lift a finger to brush the strands away. He was too depressed to care. After the latest failed attempt to get Sasuke back, he had been confined to the village. According to Tsunade the threat of Akatsuki was making it too dangerous for him to be out of the village. However, he knew that wasn't the whole truth. The council had been trying to find a way to keep him here for ages. It was ironic that the same people that hated him and wanted him out of the way at the same time didn't want anyone else getting hold of him either.

He sighed and laid on the cool stone, closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. He wanted the sting of nails in his skin, to feel some type of pain to hide the pain in his heart. This last time he had been so close. If not for that stupid orange masked Akatsuki member, he would have caught up with Sasuke. But he'd lost him. Again. And this time there were no more chances. He opened his eyes to the sky seeing pink and orange hues. Pink almost like Sakura. Who was out on a mission. Without him. Yes, he was stuck here, but apparently the rest of his team was not. Team Kakashi went on without him.

His eyes became blurred with tears, which he blinked back. Evidence of his broken heart. What really was left for him now? He really no longer was part of a team. He was stuck with D-ranked missions or helping baa-chan with paperwork. Despite all his bravado, he knew the chances of him ever becoming Hokage were slim. Now they were next to impossible if he couldn't even do missions anymore. _Besides, what kind of hokage would I be if I couldn't even keep my promises to my friends?_

His best friend was lost to him now. Or maybe if he was really truly deep down honest with himself, he could admit that Sasuke had been lost to him for a much longer time. He even got a new team to replace them. Ouch! _Did he ever really care at all? Or did he always consider us too weak._ The thoughts in his head went round and round in circles until the beat of a new song blaring through his headphones caught his attention. It was slow, dark, depressing…great, just what he needed. And yet, the haunting music stopped him from moving ahead.

**When you were here before  
Couldn't look you in the eye**

He thought back to their academy days. _ Sasuke_ _was the genius, I was the deadlast._ He hated it but deep down he always felt inferior to the teme.

**You're just like an angel  
Your skin makes me cry**

_I was the one they hated. He was the one they loved. With those dark orbs, dark hair, pale skin, he was every Konoha female's desire. Girls wanted to marry him. Mothers wanted him for their daughters. I on the other hand…hell, most of the female population won't even talk to me. _

**You float like a feather  
In a beautiful world**

_I always envied Sasuke's Uchiha genes. Sasuke did everything with ease. He had such a grace about him. He walked tall and confident with sure steps while I clumsily stumbled through life._

**I wish I was special  
You're so fucking special**

_Sasuke was treated like royalty by the entire village because he's an "Uchiha". No, not just an Uchiha…the LAST Uchiha. He had the almighty sharingan._ Naruto sat up and glared out at the bustling village. _Well where was their precious Uchiha now?_

**But I'm a creep  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here**

_I'll never forget the moment I found out what was inside me…the reason why everyone treated me like crap. To the village, I was the monster. I'm still the monster. Even after all I've done for the village._ He gave a slight snort. It was quite a conundrum. According to history, the Kyuubi was dead. And yet the way he was treated, one would think the fox demon was alive and well, which ironically enough, was true – not that they need to know that.

**I don't care if it hurts  
I want to have control**

He about killed himself back in wave trying to climb a tree with the chakra control he didn't have. He hated not being able to break a genjutsu like everyone else. It was unnerving how easy it was for the Kyuubi to take over whenever he became emotional. _What I wouldn't give to have the control that Sasuke has._

**I want a perfect body  
I want a perfect soul**

_I'm an orphan. I'm definitely not the smartest ninja on the block. I have no kekkei gekkai. My chakra control sucks less than before, but it's still not great. I have no real form of taijutsu. I can't use or break genjutsu. Hell, I don't even know if I have a ninja background or not. With the Kyuubi stuck in my gut, I'm about as imperfect a soul as one can get. The village deemed Sasuke perfect. If Sasuke ever did come back, I wouldn't be surprised if within 6 months to a year he'd be done serving whatever light sentence he received from the biased council. He'd take the fast track up the ninja ladder, leaving me in the dust. The council would make sure of it. Heck, the teme would probably be handed the position of hokage on a silver platter with a bunch of old elders bowing to him. _

**I want you to notice when I'm not around**

_The last time we fought, the bastard was so far ahead of me it was scary. Yeah I was weak from losing control and fighting Orochimaru, but still…. I worked so hard to keep up with Sasuke when he was here. I still work hard. Yet it seems like every time I take two steps forward, he's four more steps ahead of me. All I wanted was to be acknowledged by him. But he brushed me off like an annoying bug, like he could care less._

**You're so fucking special  
I wish I was special**

_We both got to the finals of the chuunin exams. Sasuke got the applause of an entire village. I got the boos and then got rejected by my own sensei to boot. All for HIM. What was so special about the Uchiha that people kissed the ground he walked on?  
_  
**But I'm a creep  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell I'm doing here?  
I don't belong here**

**Whatever makes you happy  
Whatever you want**

_Sasuke said I could never understand…and I don't. I know Sasuke had two goals – to kill his brother and to repopulate the clan. Why couldn't he have just stayed and trained in the village? I would've worked harder. I could have helped. I would've done whatever I had to in order to make Sasuke happy. But I guess it doesn't matter much now, since it seems one goal has finally been accomplished. So if this is true, why hasn't he come back?_

**You're so fucking special  
I wish I was special**

It was dark now and Naruto stood up. He was special…but not in the way he wanted. The seal on his stomach was proof. He looked down at the stone he stood on. The symbol of one of Konoha's greatest. What had the fourth been thinking at the time? Was he chosen because he was special? Or was he just a necessity?

He dreaded the idea of walking through the streets tonight. He really wasn't up to hearing the whispers about him through Kyuubi-enhanced ears. That he was a monster or a demon. That he didn't belong. That he shouldn't be there. With a sigh, he went down the mountain and then jumped to the rooftops to avoid the villagers. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe tomorrow he'll find a reason to smile again.

**But I'm a creep  
I'm a weirdo  
What the hell am I doing here?  
I don't belong here  
I don't belong here**

.

.

eh...I don't know if I like the ending, I kinda lost steam by the end. Let me know what you think! :)


End file.
